What does it mean to be unequally yoked in your relationships? Are you in a relationship that is lopsided? How do you make things more equal? Are soulmates immune to this unequal partnership?
Biblically, unequally yoked meant being in relationship with an unbeliever in Jesus. I believe that being unequally yoked goes beyond this simple explanation. It is any relationship that makes partners unequal in some way; whether it be religious, career, mental, emotional, or physical. It’s anyone putting greater value on where they are at over where their partner is at. This being said I don’t believe that any relationship is perfectly equal. Every person is on their own individual journey through life and have had unique and different experiences than the person they have chosen to spend their life with. Even if you experience the same event with someone the experience, the lessons, and the growth will be different for both people. We have all played the secret game where one person starts a secret and it gets passed down the line and the last person speaks the secret as they heard it. It is always different from the original. It’s the same with life experiences.
I don’t believe that it is possible to have a completely equal footing in any relationship, sibling, friendship, work relationship, romantic, or soulmate relationship. I believe that being unequally yoked is a blessing in disguise. It allows for growth, if you are open minded enough to actually hear and digest what the other person has to teach you. It makes you look at other possibilities, and creates an open door for change.
Let’s digress for a moment, “soulmate” is a catch-phrase that has grown to mean the ideal perfect relationship. I can tell you right now it’s not perfect. I have one and to begin with we are not equally yoked in any way, shape, or form. After walking very different life paths, we are not the same people we were when we first met. It takes time to rebuild a solid relationship of any kind. Soulmates fall into the pit of thinking that they instantly know everything about the other person, even after years of separation. But if you open your heart, mind, and spirit to all the possibilities, and facets it can be the most fulfilling relationship possible. It takes work like any other relationship and brings great blessing if you allow it. My advice to soulmates is this: don’t let romance take over (for women – easier said than done if your soulmate is a man), don’t assume anything – even if you think you are right. Build slow, a soulmate is a partner to help weather storms, and an anchor to keep you steady in turmoil. And above all never assume you know what is best for the other person.
So, how do you make things more equal? Hard work, honesty, truth, forgiveness, and love. A relationship will never be perfectly equal, and you shouldn’t want it to be. To being with it’s boring, variety is the spice of life and differences should be celebrated, worked through, and learned from. All relationships are for growth mental, emotional, and spiritual. Relationships are adventures as different in variety as there are books on shelves or e-readers. Read as many as you can, re-read the ones that give you the greatest joy, but always be willing to try a new one. It will always teach you something, and it will always be worth the time it took to read it.