Faith, Hope, & Love

Life, faith, surviving depression, Soulmates, relationships

Desires

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Heart wings

This week I was going to write about the responsibility of exercising our spiritual freedoms. But God is directing me to share about the promise I have clung to for the last 30 years from Psalms 37, specifically, verse 4 where it says, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” I thought that meant if I was good enough in His eyes He would give me the desire of my heart (a real husband of my own, someone who would love me unconditionally, challenge me to be all that God had called me to be without feeling threatened by where God was leading me. A partner I could minister to others with.)  The reality is that human beings are not perfect and rarely achieve complete devotion to God without becoming “no earthly good.” We are called to be actively involved in the world to let our light shine so that others will realize that the difference in us is our God.  I took a closer look at the Hebrew word used in this passage that is translated “delight” and it is “Anag” and it means “to live softly and delicately.” Dictionary.com gives the definition as: to give great pleasure, satisfaction, or enjoyment to; please highly.  This is obviously not the meaning that King David intended, I think David meant that we must live carefully and mindfully focused on who God is, and conduct our lives accordingly.  The other part of this “the desires of our heart”.  Here David uses the Hebrew word “mish’alah” meaning request, petition, and desire.  I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that to truly understand what our desires are we need to fully understand ourselves completely and honestly.  From experience, I can say that this has taken me years/decades, and mostly, that as I near the later years of my life, that each moment I have left should not be wasted on empty and selfish desires.  I no longer want a man that will make other women say how lucky I am to have such a gorgeous man in my life; I want a man with a heart for God and people.  This is not something I just woke up one morning and realized. It truly has taken the better part of the last 10 years to get to this place of self-understanding.  The main things I have been praying for has been a relationship that would bring healing to the both of us involved in it, that our families and friends will be able to clearly see the glory of God and believe that He is real and His promises are reliable, and be healed as well. I don’t know how all this will work out, but God does answer prayers.

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